A letter to my younger self:
I know how terrafying it was for you to read that magazine about the trans boy at Vons. I know how something clicked in your brain that that was you, but you denied it in fear of being hated.
When you start going through puberty, please stop praying that you wont wake up. Please please younger self, do not hide all your feelings
Dear younger self, mom will talk to you about puberty, and "becoming a young woman" alot... just smile and nod.
When you and a boy hang out during lunch, talking about star wars, dont let the popular kids get to you, telling you that your a freak for hanging out with a boy.
Dont listen to them in middle school when they make fun of you for not wearing makeup, or dresses, or liking all the top 40 hits.
At the 8th grade graduation party, when people made you slow dance with a boy, when all you wanted to do was slow dance with a girl, and you hid in the bathroom afterwards, dont let people call you a dyke.
Dear freshman self, highschool is terrafying. Sitting by yourself at lunch for the first month is awful, but youll eventually make some great friends.
Dear spohmore self, please for the love of god, dont get so bad that you cut yourself, spend every night crying yourself to sleep, wishing you would die. When the teacher sends you to the counselors office c8z she saw your cuts, dont panic, the counselor is there to help you.
When mom and dad wont let ylu go swimming cuz they are ashamed of your cuts, be sure to bring your nintendo with you to the lake, that way you wont be bored.
Dear junior self, dont let him touch you. Please dont let him touch you. I know how scary that was, but speak up. Tell somebody. Please.
Dear senior self, congrats. You finally told your parents you were their son.
Im sorry they were such dickholes about it. Even a year later, they will still invalidate your feelings, but you will come out strong....we will come out strong.
You will meet some amazin people that know what you are going through.
I know how tempting those pills are, they seemed like small little capsules that could take you far away from all the hate. But please dont mix up a hamdful of them with 3 bottles of alcohol and pray that you die. That will create a snowball effect of stomach problems that we still have to this day. I know how awful mom and dad can be, just ignore them, save money and move out. Start transitioning, become an amazing man, father, and husband. Become a happy individual. We deserve that dont we? 8th grade graduation dresses
Dear younger self, i dont hate you, i know i said it alot, but trust me, i dont hate you...i love you so much that i want to see you thrive into a great young man and get away from our parents.
Dear younger self, it will get better.